Hello???

*knock knock*

Is this thing on?

She Just Can't Hold Her Liquor Anymore...

I would like to consider myself a social drinker......experienced in all the ins and outs of shots and shooters, mixed drinks and frozen, wine and beer. I mean...I DID go to college. Of course then I had kids....

I knew when I had kids that my life would change. I was fully aware of the responsibility involved. The diapers, the late nights.....the curbing of my social life. What I didn't count on was the "learning curve" to reaquire my once high-level "drinking status".

I flew to Florida on Friday night to visit some old friends in my hometown. We went back to their house to drop off my suitcase before going out.

"Let's have a beer before we go", my friend said.

"Sounds good", I replied.

We drank a beer. Oh it was good. Freedom, friends and beer. What more could a girl want?

Well apparently a shot of Jaegermeister and a Flaming Dr. Pepper.

....And 2 pitchers of beer.

....And a Red Snapper.

....And another beer after that.


5 hours later......

......as I lifted my head up off of the toilet seat I looked around. I had fallen asleep in the bathroom. I spent my first night of vacationing freedom throwing up. And the next 2 days hung over.

Sad, so very sad.

Turning Point

Have you ever had a clarifying moment in your life?

I define it as a moment due to a realization or maybe an experience where the light bulb goes on….you hear the ding….the AHA!!

I had one of those last night. In a split second my entire life changed. I am a completely different person and will never be the same again. I feel weaker and stronger all at the same time.

I can’t really describe exactly what happened because that is too personal. What I can say is that I am scared and excited…..sad and happy…..mournful and hopeful….all at the same time. And it’s all wrapped up in one big ball of pretty (that’s me, ya’ll). :)

So to take away a little of the mystery…..I am getting a divorce. I am quitting my job. I am moving to Florida.

Wow….feels good to say it. Now it’s out there. It’s real.

I know that things will be difficult. They will probably even be worse before they are better. But I know without a doubt that I can do this.

So here’s to me and my next adventure.

Daycare Boob Man

I went to pick up Charlie at daycare a few days ago. When I walked up to the counter to sign him out, one of his teachers was sitting there.

“I need to tell you something,” she said.

“Sure, what is it?” I replied.

“Well, I feel kind of funny saying this, but I thought you should know.”

Uh oh.

“Charlie was in his classroom and he was staring at me. He then walked up to me with both his arms outstretched and grabbed my breasts.”

“Umm…..wow. I’m really sorry,” I replied sheepishly. “You know he does that to me at home sometimes, too. I think he’s a boob man.” I laugh nervously.

“Well, all the other teachers laughed, but I just thought it was something you should know.”

“Okay,” I replied. “I’m sorry he did that.”

Oh Charlie, Charlie, Charlie. You go my son!

Go Away....Really!

Isn’t it funny no matter what you do some people just don’t get the message?

That’s the case with T. If you have been reading the blog for awhile you know who he is. If not, here’s a reminder. And here.

Anyway, I thought I would put together a mini-tutorial on:

This means I want you to go away

1. You walk up to me while I’m working and I give you the “one moment” finger because I am A) on the phone, B) talking to someone else, C) I hate you. You don’t need to stand there and bounce from foot to foot looking like you have to pee. Please either wait patiently or go away and come back later. You are distracting, not to mention annoying.

2. We are talking (and talking and talking) and I say, “Well okay then” and turn away. This means I am done. This is equivalent to me waving my hand at you and saying, “dismissed” though not quite so rude. Please go. If you do not, I can’t be accountable for my actions.

3. We are discussing an issue that has a clear-cut solution (which you refuse to acknowledge) and I start to passive-aggressively insult you. (Ex. “Well I would have come to you, but I figured this was out of your range of expertise.”) This means that you are really annoying me. The passive-aggressiveness comes from me not wanting to burn all bridges with you, but still fills the need of aiding in reducing my frustration level.

4. I say, “Go away, please.” While this may seem straightforward I find that it doesn’t always work. Most people when hearing this from me think I’m kidding. I’m not. Really. I DO want you to go away.

So, I guess that’s about it. I left out the one with me screaming, “I hate you” because I rarely use that at work, although I did have this one boss…..

Open Letter

Open Letter to All Readers (and one person in particular....you know who you are):

Please note that I changed the title of my last post from:

"The Media is Biased"

to

"Damn Liberal Biased Media!"

This was necessary due to the fact that I was informed that the statement "The Media is Biased" was obvious or maybe the exact quote was, "No Shit!". Also, apparently I am ignorant and naive, but that will remain to be seen.

I would like to stress to all liberals, that while there is a war going on that you have every right to oppose, (that's why we fight for rights ya'll), there are some amazing and wonderful things happening that never get mentioned in the news.

I also would like to point out that we, (by "we" I mean Republicans, Conservatives, etc.), are happy to let all of you have your opinions no matter how wrong (in our opinion) they may be. It's just easier that way.

Anyway, I'm sure I have offended many of you....and that's ok too.

I don't care if we agree or disagree. That's why we vote.

Kisses.

Damn Liberal Biased Media!

The news media is biased. Please read on.

It's funny how you only hear the bad and never the good.......

Nosey Old Guy

Isn’t it funny how small children and old people can get away with saying just about anything?

I was at K-Mart yesterday with my two children and my husband. My husband was looking at something to buy and I was standing with the kids and the shopping cart. I stretched my arms over my head and let out a big yawn. The baby didn’t sleep well the night before and I was tired.

An old man walked up to me and pointed his cane in my face.

“You should get more sleep and you wouldn’t be doing that,” he said.

“They keep me up at night,” I responded, pointing to the kids.

The old man gave a sly grin, and motioned his cane at my husband.

“Uh uh,” he replied, shaking his head. He pointed his cane at my husband.

“He’s the one keeping you up at night!”

Wow! Did that really happen? Did some old guy that I have never met before jab his cane in my face and talk about me and my husband having sex?

Guess some privileges come with age.

She's A High Class Redneck

Okay.

Where do I begin?

Britney, Britney, Britney. Really??? You want KFed to be your baby’s daddy?

I remember the cute little Mickey Mouse Club Britney, and the school girl vixen Britney. We liked her. She had potential. I hate to tell you girl, but dumb redneck trailer trash Britney ain’t going over so well.

Let me give you a couple pointers. When you broke out with “Hit Me Baby One More Time” it was all about innocence vs. sex appeal. That’s a good thing.

Then as you got a little older you moved on to sultry temptress who was still unobtainable. Yep, still attractive.

But pregnant with a dirtbag Dukes of Hazzard wannabe’s baby? Who has two other children with a woman who he left while she was still pregnant? And do I even need to mention the reality show?

Poor, poor thing. You have made your bed and now you will have to have sex in it.

Good luck with the baby, though….and no I don’t think your knees look like boobs.

A Day Off - But NO Rest

I like to post everyday during the week. Today I wasn't at work though and that is my prime blogging time. You know when they are paying me an unGodly amount per hour to sit and read the internet and write stupid things. I'm not really sure what they actually pay me to do. It seems like I don't do much and my boss is happy with my performance (or so he says).

Today I took off because my 3-year-old had an ear tube removed that refused to fall out. It was one of those work yourself up to what ends up being a very anti-climactic result. You are nervous and worried because it is your baby and then the whole procedure takes about 10 minutes and instead of crying when you get back to the recovery room your child is flirting with all of the nurses saying, "What's your name?"

So I spent my day watching my son at home to make sure there were no adverse affects to the anesthesia, etc. And there weren't. In fact, if anything, it made him more hyper than normal. I am tired. Worn out. Too pooped to polka.

So I bid you adieu and will see you bright and early in the AM at work.

Bye, Ya'll!

The Neurotic Woman's "One-Day Juice Fast Diet"

There are many weight loss products out there. This one is especially designed for the neurotic woman. Please join me in a brief recap of my day on the “One-Day Juice Fast Diet”.

5:00am : Wake Up. Mix flaxseed with water. Realize that flaxseed doesn’t mix with water. Try to drink it. Gag on what tastes like a clump of sand in the bottom of glass. Throw out flaxseed and water.

6:00am: Drink 1 glass of water.

7:00am: Drink 1 glass of “miracle juice”. Realize this juice is pretty good. Kind of sweet and tangy like cider. This might not be so bad after all.

8:00am: Drink 1 glass of water.

9:00am: Drink 1 glass of “miracle juice”. Realize that while the juice isn’t so bad it is no substitute for morning coffee. Start to feel tired and irritated.

10:00am: Drink 1 glass of water. Go to the bathroom for the 6th time this morning. Smiling coworkers are starting to piss you off.

11:00am: Drink 1 glass of “miracle juice”. Realize that the “tang” in the juice is starting to give you heart burn. Want to take a Tums but not sure if it will affect the results. Suffer through.

12:00pm: Drink 1 glass of water. Pee for the 10th time. Start to smell everyone’s lunch being heated up. Give self a pep talk. You can do this. It will be so worth it.

1:00pm: Drink 1 ½ glasses of “miracle juice”. Realize that juice really tastes like crap. In fact you’re not sure if you can choke the ghastly liquid down. Strengthen your resolve and finish the juice.

2:00pm: Drink 1 glass of water. Realize that you don’t want to drink anything else. You don’t even care about not having any food as long as you don’t have to drink anymore juice or water.

3:00pm: Drink 1 glass of “miracle juice”. Realize that you have a wicked headache from not eating. You are actually starting to feel a little dizzy. Maybe those 3 inch heels you put on this morning weren’t such a good idea.

4:00pm: Drink 1 glass of water. Go to the bathroom for the 15th time today before rushing out to pick up kids from daycare. Realize about halfway home on your 1 hour 15 minute commute that you may not make it without peeing in your pants.

5:15pm: Get home. Run to the bathroom. Pour 1 ½ glasses of “miracle juice”. Look at juice. Contemplate not drinking it. Make dinner for kids. Hold self back from eating kids dinner. Sip on juice. What the hell is this crap?! Pour juice down drain.

6:00pm: Drink 1 glass water. Fight with husband because you are cranky and irritable. Go shopping.

7:00pm: Come home. Pour last cup of “miracle juice” down drain.

8:00pm: Drink 1 glass water. Realize that you have probably done fine today and a few potato chips won’t hurt. Eat potato chips.

9:00pm: Rationalize that you are too hungry to sleep. Call local pizza place and order pizza. Send husband to get it.

9:25pm: Eat half of pepperoni pizza. Go to sleep fat and happy.

So…..that’s the neurotic woman’s “One-Day Juice Fast Diet”. It seems to work okay. I did lose 2 pounds….although I may have wrecked many a personal relationship due to the highly increased level of bitchiness I experienced that day. We’ll just have to see.

Happy Dieting, Ya’ll!

The Book Challenge

Okay, Erica.

I am finally getting around to taking on the “Book” challenge. Here's what I came up with....

How many books do you own?

Umm….I would have to answer this in pounds, seeing as I have moved my books so many times that they have found a permanent home in my attic in many cardboard boxes. They are rumored to weigh over 650 pounds, but they, like me, are doing a juice fast….so it may be less.

If I had to approximate I would say I probably have around 300 books. I know…time for a garage sale.

What is the last book you bought?

The Time Traveler’s Wife. Don’t know who wrote it and I’m too lazy to look it up, but….. it was great. One of the few books that after I was done reading it I thought about it for days.

What is the last book you read?

Three to Get Deadly by Janet Evanovich. It’s the 3rd book in what is now a series of 11. It’s one of those easy, no thinking beach reads. Lot’s of fun, good action and you don’t have to exert a lot of mental energy.

What’s the one book that you can’t wait to read?

The new Harry Potter book. I’ve had that damn thing preordered for months. I am such a nerd. Thirty-four years old and love Harry Potter. Oh well, I never claimed to be cool.

What 5 books are most important to you?

Wow…that’s a tough one. How about if I just pick 5 books I like…I’ll try to pick just five.

1. Outlander by Diana Gabaldon

No Erica, I’m not copying you. I love her books. When I read them I just want to be Claire and find my Jamie…..aahhh…..!

2. Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay

Should be self-explanatory. Let’s just say it helped me finally answer a lot of tough questions I was facing.

3. Confessions of a Shopaholic

It was nice to see that I am not the only one. It’s also one of those fun chic lit books. And I just happened to be breastfeeding my new baby during the course of reading the entire trilogy and it just brings back those sweet memories of 2am feedings. (Yes, as tiring as it was they are sweet memories!)

4. Arty the Smarty

The very first book I can remember owning and reading. It’s out of print now, but I may just have to find myself a copy somewhere.

5. The Bible

Because no matter how bad it gets I will always have somewhere to turn.

(Even though sometimes the Bartender’s Guide may seem more appropriate!)

Okay….to finish this off I am tagging Princess Diaree and Mary from PA!

Writer's Block (Sort of)

I feel like I am obligated to post today….

but I have nothing to say.

I have a lot that I want to say….

but nothing I can say.

So…… have a nice day, ya’ll. See you tomorrow.


(Read whatever you want into that....I am a woman of mystery after all!)

High Gas Prices Are Gettin' Me Down

Gas prices……gas prices.

What do I say about gas prices?

I was driving to work this morning (on autopilot due to a drunken weekend away, and getting home around 11pm the night before – but that’s another story…) and saw that gas in my area is up to $2.40 a gallon for the cheap stuff.

All I can say is thank God I passed on the Tahoe and went for the minivan. Didn’t really want the minivan, but finally I made a responsible decision that is paying off. Go me! (Hey, I don’t make many responsible decisions that pay off….so let me gloat a little will ya?)

I was thinking how insane gas prices are when I saw in the distance a Citgo sign. Gas - $1.38 a gallon. What??? Ohmigod! That is so awesome.

My heart was beating fast….I was excited! Then I saw it. The gas station. It was abandoned; the pumps were old and rusty. There were overgrown weeds everywhere. It was hard to determine where the grass ended and the blacktop began. The windows of the falling down building were boarded up. Damn!

I mean, come on Sherri….how long has it been since gas was $1.38 a gallon? But I had wanted to believe it. Oh well. Then in a brief cosmic alignment, the DJ on the radio began to talk about gas prices. (I love it when that happens, don’t you? Makes me feel like the whole world is thinking what I’m thinking.)

The topic was about how it’s going to cost more to go on summer road trips due to the increase in gas and how the cost is going to continue to increase due to Hurricane Dennis. Then the DJ goes…..I just don’t understand the correlation between hurricanes and gas prices. Really? Really?? Are you stupid? Um….hurricanes that hit the Gulf of Mexico stop oil production on all the oil rigs in the Gulf. You know….those little platform looking things sitting on the water?

I don’t know….it just seemed like a stupid comment to me. But I am tired and pissy this morning. How are you?

Sherri's Office ala PreppyGirl

PreppyGirl decided to stretch her artistic legs and capture the essence of my blog in a picture. Here is her artistic interpretation.

I can see 5 specific posts that she captured - my hurt back from falling down the stairs, my shirt unraveling in a mess, the fact that I loves me some W, my boss that expects me to have his schedule memorized, and of course....me blogging at work.

What you might find interesting is that I'm wearing shorts to the office. I don't actually do this but see...these are special shorts. Notice the flaps on the front ala 1987. Cause that's when these shorts are from. I must have worn them non-stop for about 5 years. Basically, until they were in shreds. PreppyGirl and HippyChick still won't let me live it down.

I mean....what did I know? I thought Wham was cool.

Don't Believe Everything You Read

I ordered the “One day detox diet” book. I figured I can give anything one day, right? But I get the book and there’s a 7-day Pre-diet and a 3-day Post-diet.

Umm…..that’s not 1 day is it? No. It’s 11 days. ARGHH!

Why, oh why do I believe what I read in advertising?

Silly girl.

I still believe that:

Coke is it.

Oscar Mayer has a way with B-O-L-O-G-N-A.

I can lose 30 pounds in 30 days with Cortislim.

I can have the body of a 50-year old grandmother with Bowflex.

It is better in the Bahamas.

Walmart really does care with their Good Works.

I would like to be a Pepper too.

I can Shout it out.

Chevy is the heartbeat of America.

Santa brings my Christmas presents.

Jesus loves me.

When R. B. broke up with me it really was him and not me.

But what do I know.....I thought the One day diet would really be one day.

Terrorists Suck

Today I am angry. Angry and sad. I hate to see that another terrorist attack is happening. Today it’s London. Where will it be tomorrow?

I ponder over how so many people think that the war in Iraq is useless. How our efforts at eliminating terrorists and bringing peace to the world may seem futile and pointless. I believe it is worthwhile. I believe we have to take whatever actions we can, however unpopular, to rid the world of evil.

Others say, well why don’t we go in where the real terrorists are? Find Bin Ladin? Um…..guess what people? We’re doing that. You may not see it on the news because a lot of these operations are undercover. Remember the Army Rangers and Navy Seals? Yeah….we really don’t publicize their movements. Kinda lessens the surprise.

“The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing.” - Albert Einstein.

Thanks, Al…..you are so right.

We have to all do something….but what can we do?

I look at myself, a working mom….driving a minivan, living in the United States. Not really one to conquer the axis of evil. But I can make changes in my life and help those in my immediate area. One thing I can do is not contribute to the problems that plague our society. Things as simple as road rage and lack of common courtesy. I am guilty. (More than I care to admit.)

I was listening to a radio broadcast this morning about what is happening in London. One news anchor made the comment that civilians were carrying wounded to get them medical attention. Hmmm….? We band together during adversity, but hate each other when things are fine. So, basically….I’ll help you if your leg gets blown off by a terrorist’s bomb, but I am NOT going to let you cut in front of me in traffic.

Seems pretty inconsequential doesn’t it?

I don’t know where this is going. I may be rambling a bit. I guess I just want to say that we have to continue to take action to make the world a better place for all. It’s necessary. And if, like me, your feeling a little helpless…..try brightening up your little section of the world with a smile or a kind word. You’ll be amazed how far it can go.

I'm Bloggin' for Bush!

It's a thong, baby! I am so buying this!

Here's the link.

And the Saga Continues...

Tom: Do you think they're still buying it?

Katie: I'm not sure. What do I do?

Tom: Just stare at me intently with a blank look on your face.

Katie: Ok...but this is weird. It just feels so....fake.

Tom: I know. I know. I'm uncomfortable too. Just go with it.

Sue Who? Sue Everybody!

I love crazy people.

Read this and come on back.

Ok....if you were too lazy to go to the link and read the article. Here's the quick and dirty version:

Nasa - colliding a probe with a comet to run tests on the comet....blah blah

Russian Astrologist (aka nutjob) - suing Nasa (for 300 million dollars....waaahhhaaahaaa!) because this collision will "infringe upon my system of spiritual and life values, in particular on the values of every element of creation, upon the unacceptability of barbarically interfering with the natural life of the universe, and the violation of the natural balance of the Universe."

Possible outcome according to Russian Astrologist - collision will cause "mass anxiety" and "disrupt the natural balance of the universe."

Um....so how are you feeling today? Anxious? How's the universe feeling to you? Balanced?

I decided if this Russian Astrologist can sue over the mental stress caused by Nasa colliding a probe with a comet that there were a lot of overlooked opportunities in my life that I should revisit.

List of people I am going to sue:

1. Mrs. Trogden (Jr. Kindergarten Teacher)

Damages - I should have been able to go first on the balance beam. I hate waiting in line. Ever since that day before my 4th birthday that I had to wait for three other kids to go first I have been impatient. You have ruined me for many a career.

I should be awarded.....18 Million dollars.

2. Linda (Friend of my Mom's)

Damages - You forced me to eat broccoli when my Mom was out of town. It is your fault that I had an aversion to vegetables for years and gained weight.

I should be awarded......22 Million dollars (and a lifetime membership to Jenny Craig.)

3. Mrs. Fick (3rd Grade Teacher)

Damages - Losing the spelling bee on "ultraviolet" when you clearly pronounced the word "ultraviolent" and therefore I actually spelled it right. You have ruined my belief in myself that I may actually have the correct answer and due to you I am constantly second guessing myself.

I should be awarded.....14 Million dollars.

4. Ray (Boyfriend in 7th Grade)

Damages - You not only broke up with me, you sent the girl that you broke up with me for over to tell me. I don't care that you are now gay. You suck.

I should be awarded.....86 Million dollars.

5. The Creators of the "Jr. Miss America Pagent"

Damages - You sent me applications to join a beauty pagent. Ugh. What is wrong with you people? This brought about so much anxiety at just the thought of being seen in public in a bathing suit, much less parading on stage in front of hundreds of people. You probably single-handedly sent many a girl into an anorexic craze!

I should be awarded......42 Trillion dollars.

6. Kathy (Crazy Girl I Used to be Friends With)

Damages - Oh where do I begin.....for inviting yourself on my Key West vacation and then wrecking a scooter with one of my actual friends on it which resulted in a day wasted at the hospital, for stealing from your old roommate which resulted in her breaking into MY house and stealing MY best CD's, for trying to steal every guy I dated (yeah....right....aren't you now gay too?).

I should be awarded......14 Billion dollars.

7. Guy Who Cut Me Off in Traffic Today

Damages - You have inhibited my ability to drive without twitching everytime a vehicle comes within 5 feet of my van. When I have an accident it will be your fault.

I should be awarded......4 Million dollars.

Well there you have it.

That's the short list. There are many, many more. But I think that will do to start.

Shout Out to My Imaginary Internet Friends

Hey ya'll!

I wanted to point out that I have been schooled in blog etiquette thanks to Erica and have added links to the blogs that link to me. Thought it might be nice to share some really great reads with you.....and I don't need the bad karma!

So mosey on over to the right side of your screen and click on a few and enjoy!

Later.....peace out brothers and sisters

(Yes, I know this is my lame attempt at being cool.....give me a break!)

The American Ideal.....sort of

Okay…..now that I’ve gotten my bitchy woman rant off my chest (see previous post), I can actually write about what I had intended today.

I live in a remarkable little town. Being a military wife I have lived in many different places, but never one that reminded me of what America is portrayed as in movies and books.

During the Fourth of July weekend celebration I enjoyed a classic car show, parade, fire station competitions, dunk tank, community baseball game and fireworks. All this was held in the town park free of charge. People were milling around, smiling at each other. There were no pushy crowds, no litter on the ground; we didn’t even have to drive. It was within walking distance from our house. Just your typical vision of what America should be.

Well, that and the murderer who killed himself in the woods behind our house.

Oh….did I forget to mention that? (Sorry Mom, didn’t want you to worry.)

I was at work a couple weeks ago when my phone rang. It was my husband.

“Did you hear about the shooting in Quakertown?” he said.

Shooting in Quakertown? We moved further away from Philly to get away from crime.

“What happened?” I asked.

“Some guy shot his estranged wife and ran off. They say he’s hiding in the woods behind our house. He lives in our neighborhood.”

Great. Just freakin’ great.

I go home to police checking cars as I enter my neighborhood. There are two helicopters flying low, circling incessantly.

I watched the news with the doors locked waiting for my husband to get home with the kids. I was nervous, anxious, but not really scared. Just wanted to know what was happening.

Finally, we found out that the guy killed himself during a stand-off with police.

So there goes my vision of the ideal American town…..or does it? It’s sad, but I wonder if there is any place in the world left that hasn’t been marred by violent crime. Guess there are crazies everywhere.

So anyway….hope you had a good 4th of July. Mine was pleasantly uneventful.

Monday....um...Tuesday Morning Blues...

It’s Tuesday, but it feels like Monday….in every bad way that Monday is considered. It’s only 8:30am as I write this. Where can my day go from here? Really? I should go home and start over. Let’s review….

My son threw up on himself on the way to school. He wasn’t in my car. He was with my husband. But I get the angry phone call like it’s somehow my fault. It’s always my fault. I just don’t do enough….guess squeezing the kid out of my vagina doesn’t count for much anymore.

Then boss #2 yells at me when I get in. He’s asking me detailed questions about his schedule as I’m still booting up my computer after a three-day holiday weekend. Newsflash buddy….don’t have your calendar memorized even though I’m sure you imagine that’s what I do on the weekends.

And of course my computer. Ahh, yes. Your password is going to expire…please log in and change it. So I log in. Enter your old password…..password not valid. Huh? I just logged in with this password….how is it not valid?

Where are you? I know you’re up there, that little demonic presence who wants to torment me today. I see you laughing. You have won this morning…..but I will beat you. As soon as I finish this pint of ice cream…..

Can't. Let. It. Go.

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes were caught on camera flying to the "War of the Worlds" premiere on the motorcycle given to him by Xenu, former evil alien leader.

Xenu stated, "I just wanted to thank Tom for getting Scientology out there. I know I did a lot of damage killing all those people billions of years ago, but I've seen the error of my ways. My time with Tom not only cured me of my post-partum depression, it made me realize that the world is really a good place. I just wish those two crazy kids the best!"

In Defense Of Men....

This one is for all you guys out there.

It’s a common fact that when women get together there is typically a lot of man-bashing that goes on. We compare and contrast which husband or boyfriend does what. “My husband doesn’t ever pick up after himself. My boyfriend was looking at another girl. My husband never helps with the kids”. And on and on it goes.

But what about the other side of the story? What about the man’s point of view. Well I’m here to tell you…..you guys have nothing on some women. There are some women out there that will make a sloppy husband who never helps with the kids look like a saint. These women piss me off. Let me explain.

I am very aware that in our PC world, feminism and equality are considered a necessity. That’s fine. But what about common courtesy, compassion and caring? What about giving a guy a fair break and not treating him like shit just because it’s okay for women to “live their own lives”.

Example 1:

My coworker is going through a difficult phase. His wife, who he loves very much, is a psycho. I don’t mean she’s difficult. I mean she is a shrew. She doesn’t work, never cleans the house, and expects him to cook dinner and take care of the kids when he gets home. She does whatever she wants, spends more money than he makes, and yells at him that he doesn’t do enough. Ummm…..when is he supposed to do more?

Example 2:

My good friend’s wife cheated on him and lied to him about money. She went as far as having the address changed on the credit cards so that the bills wouldn’t come to the house and he wouldn’t know what she had charged and that they hadn’t been paid. He didn’t find out that his credit was shit until the bill collectors started calling. Now she’s engaged to some other guy but still won’t sign the divorce papers.

What is wrong with you women? If you don’t want to be with someone……tell them. If you want out…..get out. Do not stay with a guy for money. Don’t try to take him for all he’s worth. Get a job. Take care of yourself. Embrace the ideals of equality and feminism not by taking advantage of men, but by setting an example to younger women.

Geesh!

And put on some makeup and cook dinner once in awhile. There…I said it.

(Ummm.....and the kettle is black.)