Zen-like Moments

I am sure that everyone has a hectic morning routine. I mean who really likes to get up at 5am, jam contacts into your stinging, puffy eyes and commute through horrendous traffic with two screaming kids in a minivan. Unfortunately, I do it everyday.

However, I do have my zen moments...you know when you decide you are going to be a better, happier person and all it will take to complete this miraculous transformation is a little bit of organization. I will make my lunch for the next day, iron my clothes, pick out the kids clothes, have everything ready and waiting by the front door so that I can just grab it and be on my way. I will wake up 15 minutes earlier, not hit the snooze and feel refreshed because I went to bed at 9:00pm the night before.

For me, these zen moments are like dieting....they usually only last a day or two.

Please review the journey that took me from home to work this morning:

(Please note that I did not go to bed at the previously mentioned 9:00pm. Attempted slumber at 10:00pm only to go back to the computer and finally fall asleep at 12:30am.)

5:00am - Alarm rings, hit snooze

5:09am - Alarm rings, hit snooze

5:18am - Alarm rings, hit snooze

5:27am - Alarm rings, realize have hit snooze 3 times. Still have 1 hour 3 minutes before I have to leave.

5:30am - Jam contacts into previously mentioned stingy and puffy eyes and brush teeth.

5:32am - Get into shower. Realize am standing in two inches of cold dirty water left behind by husband because shower is clogged with my hair. Make note to self to unclog shower later.

5:35am - Go to other shower. Realize that there is no soap in other shower.

5:37am - Run back to original shower for soap, soaking hallway carpet and giving the neighbors a peep show from the upstairs windows.

5:45am - Begin makeup and hair routine. Realize need to hurry...only 45 minutes left

6:00am - Having bad hair day. Try 15 different ways to pull hair back only to leave it down as originally had it.

6:15am - Wake up 3 year old and 1 year old. Realize need to leave in 15 minutes. Still in bathrobe.

6:18am - 3 year old screams and wants to be carried downstairs. Refuses to use the bathroom.

6:25am - Finish wrestling 3 year old into clothes. Now wants to go to the bathroom. Start moving at frantic pace as have only 5 minutes left.

6:30am - Attempt to give now clothed 1 year old antibiotic for ear infection.

6:35am - Change clothes of antibiotic covered 1 year old.

6:39am - Realize have not made lunch. Grab can of soup.

6:40am - Run upstairs to get dressed. Already 10 minutes late. Realize none of my shirts are ironed.

6:45am - Try on 15 different outfits.

6:52am - Settle on first outfit put on.

6:55am - Have everything ready and about to walk out the door. Baby poops in diaper.

7:00am - Change poopy diaper.

7:05am - Go to put kids in car. Realize there is ice on the windshield (in May - who knew? I'm from Florida, ya'll).

7:10am - Get windshield defrosted and finally, cursing, back out of driveway only 40 minutes late.

For those of you who are desperately worrying, my boss was out of town and I snuck in the office unnoticed but definitely NOT feeling zen-like.

Oh well, there's always tomorrow.