Milky Way Orgasm

A friend at work wanted some support with her weight loss program, and since I also wanted to rid myself of those last few "baby weight" pounds, I joined her at a Weight Watchers meeting. I figured I would check it out, see if the program was for me and maybe get a little motivation. Oh....I got so much more!

I need to provide you with a little background first. I have never been a girl's girl (my equivalent of a man's man). I have a few select girlfriends, but normally gravitate to socializing with men. I have many male friends, work in a male-centered environment, and generally tend to chat with the men at work over the ladies. In high school I wasn't a cheerleader, did not join the pep squad and ran as fast as I could away from cliquey, gossipy girls. In essence, I am not fully comfortable in an open, women-centered environment. (For those of you wondering: No, I am not a lesbian.)

Attending a weight watchers meeting is definitely an experience. First let me describe the leader. She is overly chatty, bubbly and smiles at inappropriate times. On this particular day she was green. I describe her as green because her skirt was green, her shirt was green, her shoes were green, her earrings and necklace and bracelets were green. Even her nails (fingers and toes) were green. The leader's job is to elicit participation from the group about their weight loss experience. Apparently this leader does her job very well.

First up was a lifetime member. She proceeded to take 15 minutes to tell her story, while motivating, it was given through many tears and sobs. I was uncomfortable. I really didn't know this woman well enough to share her innermost secrets. And I couldn't help but wondering, as a lifetime member does she do this every week? Note to self: come on another night.

Next was a 40-something teacher. About 50 pounds overweight she is halfway through her weight loss program. Trying to be funny she talks about how she weighs naked and has to bend over to see the itty-bitty numbers on the scale. She then asks us to imagine her big butt bending over naked and isn't that funny? Umm....no, it's not. But it does curb my appetite. So far so good.

Finally, there was "the one". You know the one. There's one in every class, every meeting at work and in every group of friends. The one who thinks that everyone wants to hear what they have to say. The one that when the teacher is ready to dismiss the class and asks if there are any questions actually asks a question. She has spoken about 12 times already, chiming in to every question the leader asks and commenting on every story told. I am annoyed. Please be quiet. I don't think I can listen in detail again to how you made stir fry. Lots of people make stir fry. I don't need you to explain it to me....I have a cook book.

As I am deciding that I will definitely not be back to this meeting, "One" starts talking again and proceeds to tell everyone that since she has stopped eating junk she feels so much better and in control. She then described, in detail, how her reward of a Milky Way for reaching a goal caused her to achieve.....

here it comes....


wait for it....


an Orgasm!


I'm sorry...what???

Did I hear you right???

After I finished laughing and diverted the angry stares (apparently you aren't supposed to laugh at people at Weight Watchers...go figure) I apologized. The meeting was over and I went to my car. As uncomfortable as I was....I'll be back next week...and I'll be sure to bring a Milky Way!