Lost in Translation
Unfortunately, sometimes the people I speak to are unprofessional and rude.
And then….there are those like today.
I needed to make a dinner reservation for my boss. For the purpose of this post I’ll call my boss “Bob Vanilla”.
I called an “Asian/French fusion” restaurant in East Hampton. A woman with a thick Asian accent answers:
Asian voice: Hello.
Me: Yes, I’d like to make a reservation for dinner tonight. Two for 7pm.
Asian voice: Oh yes. Two for 7pm. The name?
Me: Bob Vanilla.
Asian voice: Will you spell the last name please?
Me: V – A – N…
Asian voice: B – A – M…. (Does she really think the name is Bamilla?)
Me: No. V as in Victor, A, N as in Nancy….
Asian voice: T – A – N….
Me: No. V…VVeeeee… V as in Victor.
Asian voice: Oh. V- A- N. Mr. Bob Van? (huh?)
Me: No. Bob Vanilla.
Asian voice: Will you spell that please?
Me: (big sigh) V – A – N – I – L – L – A.
Asian voice: V – A – N – I ….then what?
Me: L – L – A.
Asian voice: Okay. That’s V – A – N- E – L – I – AMe: (You have so got to be freakin’ kidding me!) No….Vanilla…like the bean.
Asian voice: Vanilla bean? (I am so not making this up. Except it wasn't "Vanilla Bean" because I changed the name, remember?)
Me: Not Vanilla Bean. Just Vanilla. Vanilla. Bob Vanilla.
Asian voice: Okay. Mr. Bob Vanilla. Two for 7pm. And your phone number?
Me:
555-46….
Asian voice: 545…
No way…..
It took me 5 more minutes to get off the phone. I know I’m going to have to confirm this one...twice!
Sad.
Disclaimer: For all the angry Asians reading this…. This post in no way demeans Asians….Just a way to describe the woman, people. Get over yourselves!
posted by Sherri at 10:52 AM
4 Comments:
I was having lunch at China Buffet with my brother (who is not exactly the politically correct type). My brother is your very typical Midwestern Good Ole Boy so it's actually impressive that he ate at China Buffet at all.
Anyway, the Chinese waitress came over and asked "Moiyes T?" and my brother gave her a look out of the corner of his eye like "What the fuck did you just ask me?" She repeated herself and Bryan looked at me like "Uh, what did she say to me?"
So, I'm giggling and I tell Bryan she wants to know if he wants more ice tea. He laughs and says he thought she was asking if he wanted a "moistee" like she was going to stick her finger in his ear.
I must add that if I were trying to speak Chinese, I'm quite sure it would sound a lot worse than she sounded speaking Engrish. (And that goes for me speaking German, French, Spanish, and any other language that wasn't brainwashed into me from birth)
My last name is not spelled exactly as it sounds, so when people ask for it I just start spelling it. Sometimes this backfires, so I start the whole V is as in Victor crap...then once I got this person and I'm pretty sure English was their first language and I said L as in Lollipop. She said, "O as in Lollipop." WTF!!!!
People can be pretty thick sometimes. I could list "Waiting while people attempt to pronounce my name" as a hobby. I enjoy it quite a bit, unless I'm in a hurry. You'd be amazed at the variations I've heard. My all time favorite is "kuh-lub-a-fuh-lie-itch".
I generally do the same thing Kathleen does...I start spelling with the phonetic alphabet right away.
Once in a while, I run into someone who understands the whole military phonetic alphabet thing and repeats my name back like this:
KiloAlphaLimaBravoFoxtrotLimaEchoIndiaSierraCharlieHotel.
I usually let that sit for a second and then say, "so what did you do when you were in the service?"
~Kurt
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