Karma?
Those of you that have been with me for the past several months here in cyberspace will remember me telling you about my not-so-nice neighbor who ended up with brain cancer. Well, I saw her yesterday. I can’t tell you how much it affected me.
My husband and I went to drop of our nephews after spending the day at the zoo. They live two houses down from my old neighbor. When we pulled into the driveway she was outside. She waved, so I went over to see her. When I got close to her what I saw blew me away.
Where there was once a vibrant and youthful person, now stood a disfigured woman that I didn’t even recognize. I felt at once pity and even remorse for some of the hateful thoughts I had about his person. She probably deserved every one of those hateful thoughts, but seeing her in this condition put the pettiness of our arguments into perspective.
The right side of her forehead was caved in where some of the bone had been removed. Her mouth was twisted to the left and her speech was impaired. Her nose continually ran and she drooled when she talked. Her right eye was focused differently than her left. She is approximately 5’7” and weighed only 98 pounds. She has very little hair left.
I looked at her and I realized that the life she knew is over. Even if she makes a miraculous recovery her life and those of her family will never be the same. While we spoke I had to continually remind myself to treat her the same way I always had. I felt myself wanting to speak to her as I would a child or someone who is mentally impaired. But there’s nothing wrong with her mind. She’s just damaged on the outside now.
So what’s worse? Dying or living a life you could never imagine? I kept thinking, “Would I want to live that way?” I suppose I would if only to see my children grow up, but what would seeing me like that do to them?
I still can’t get what has happened to her out of my mind. The only way I can truly explain how I’m feeling is that it makes me want to be a better person, as if by being nicer and kinder, something that bad won’t happen to me.
I just can't stop thinking about it. What do you think?
My husband and I went to drop of our nephews after spending the day at the zoo. They live two houses down from my old neighbor. When we pulled into the driveway she was outside. She waved, so I went over to see her. When I got close to her what I saw blew me away.
Where there was once a vibrant and youthful person, now stood a disfigured woman that I didn’t even recognize. I felt at once pity and even remorse for some of the hateful thoughts I had about his person. She probably deserved every one of those hateful thoughts, but seeing her in this condition put the pettiness of our arguments into perspective.
The right side of her forehead was caved in where some of the bone had been removed. Her mouth was twisted to the left and her speech was impaired. Her nose continually ran and she drooled when she talked. Her right eye was focused differently than her left. She is approximately 5’7” and weighed only 98 pounds. She has very little hair left.
I looked at her and I realized that the life she knew is over. Even if she makes a miraculous recovery her life and those of her family will never be the same. While we spoke I had to continually remind myself to treat her the same way I always had. I felt myself wanting to speak to her as I would a child or someone who is mentally impaired. But there’s nothing wrong with her mind. She’s just damaged on the outside now.
So what’s worse? Dying or living a life you could never imagine? I kept thinking, “Would I want to live that way?” I suppose I would if only to see my children grow up, but what would seeing me like that do to them?
I still can’t get what has happened to her out of my mind. The only way I can truly explain how I’m feeling is that it makes me want to be a better person, as if by being nicer and kinder, something that bad won’t happen to me.
I just can't stop thinking about it. What do you think?
posted by Sherri at 3:37 PM
7 Comments:
Sometimes I think that those situations are put out there to remind us to be thankful for what we have.
I know it sounds trite - but when I am having a bad day, I think about my Dad. He died of cancer two years ago.
He basically had to choose to eat and let his tumor grow, or to starve to death and have less pain that way.
If I never have to make a decision like that, I am a happy camper.
Does she look anything like this?
http://www.resourceinvestor.com/MediaLib/Images/Home/Blog/uglydog.png
I know, I'm going to Hell.
Okay, here's my real comment.
It is very sad for her and I totally understand why you feel guilty for making the rude comments about her.
Like my refridgerator poetry magnets say "Dogma Dharma Karma."
You know, it seriously can always be worse. While you are grateful you don't have a caved in head, she is probably grateful she isn't paralysed or blind or something. It's like you're tricking God into thinking you don't need to learn a lesson in the same manner this woman is. You've already had your share of "life lessons" and people have probably said about you "Man, I feel so bad that I talked crap about her and now she's going through....fill in the blanks."
Wow Princess! You really are going to hell! Eek.
Wow, that's just wrong princess. And I don't necessarily think that being a nice person keeps you safe from horrible ailments, but it'll probably get a lot more people to care about you if you ever are sick.
I often think it's easier to be mean than nice. Being mean is saying exactly how you feel rather than forcing yourself to look at the situation in another way - to find the good in it. And there's nothing wrong with that!
Hey, Sherri and I were born Scorpios. Everyone knows it's much harder for us to be nice.
Preppy, being born under the sign of Cancer I think it's actually very difficult for you to say what you "mean". That's why everyone lurvs you.
*sniffle, sniffle* I need a tissue.
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