Xenu Will Rise Again
"So you're okay with this?"
"I think so. Tell me again what's going to happen."
"Well, now that the alien DNA has taken root in your womb, the spawn of Xenu will begin to grow until you eventually explode while giving birth."
"Um....can I survive that?"
"Sure. sure. It really won't hurt a bit. We'll just give you more of the drugs we've been giving you this whole time to make you go along with this charade."
"But I thought you didn't believe in drugs?"
"I only believe in what benefits me, baby, come on...."
"True. So, do I get to raise the baby?"
"Um. Yeah. And I really love you. Women rock."
"Oh, Tommy!"
posted by Sherri at 7:24 AM
6 Comments:
Too funny! Was going to post something about this news today - about how I imagined Tom lovingly stuffing Flintstone vitamins into Katie's maw (the oral maw, of course) as she labored without drugs to deliver their spawn... but of course, the Xenu angle is even better. :-)
And I can HEAR him saying it: "I'm all about what benefits ME, baby."
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i hate the phrase LOL but this post actually made me do it.
Two words: TOLEDO OHIO
My guess is that they've been humping like bunnies because their publicists told them they have to keep the buzz going now that both their summer blockbuster movies are out of the theatres.
Justice...REAL justice...would be for Katie to gain a hundred pounds eating post-partum bon-bons because Tom won't let her take Zoloft.
~Kurt
Too funny!!! Way too funny!!
Immaculate conception, or what?? Yeah... we believe you Tom!
Here's funny: Tony Danza says Tom's a hypocrite for criticizing Brooke Shields' use of anti-depressants to combat post-partum depression, but then having a child out of wedlock. Danza says he'll never have Cruise come on HIS show, but suggests the couple go on "Maury" for a DNA test.
~Kurt
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