Toll Booth Serial Killer Strikes Again
I really thought he was gone. But he was there. Today. In my lane.
I didn't realize it was him at first. I never had an upclose look at him before. He's older than I originally thought. Maybe late 30's, early 40's.
I pulled up to the toll booth, rolled down my window, and looked up just as our hands touched exchanging the money.
OHMIGOD!!! I touched him. EWWWWW......
Then he says, "I have to say you look gorgeous today. Have a nice day."
I just mumble, "Um....you too."
Oh shit! Did he think I meant he looked gorgeous? I meant have a nice day. And I didn't even really mean that! I didn't know what to say.
And he said I look gorgeous. Usually nice to hear, but not from a serial killer! And what did he mean he "had" to say it? Is there some psychosis that is forcing it out of him? Is my demise next?
Damn toll roads!
I am sufficiently creeped out. Maybe I will get EZ Pass after all.
I didn't realize it was him at first. I never had an upclose look at him before. He's older than I originally thought. Maybe late 30's, early 40's.
I pulled up to the toll booth, rolled down my window, and looked up just as our hands touched exchanging the money.
OHMIGOD!!! I touched him. EWWWWW......
Then he says, "I have to say you look gorgeous today. Have a nice day."
I just mumble, "Um....you too."
Oh shit! Did he think I meant he looked gorgeous? I meant have a nice day. And I didn't even really mean that! I didn't know what to say.
And he said I look gorgeous. Usually nice to hear, but not from a serial killer! And what did he mean he "had" to say it? Is there some psychosis that is forcing it out of him? Is my demise next?
Damn toll roads!
I am sufficiently creeped out. Maybe I will get EZ Pass after all.
posted by Sherri at 7:26 AM
4 Comments:
Face it, Sherri, you're a total freak magnet. Toll Booth Guy can't help falling for your eyes that say "I've been up all night with small children and see this snot on my lapel? It's not mine because I know you'd dig on that. It's a childs. Signifies other-committedness. Like you! With your impending commitment. Get it" but all he sees is "YES YES YES."
And Office FAG. They all see "YES PLEASE" in your eyes when really, there is just sleep crust. Trust me. The one-eyed man between their legs sees ALL for them.
But it's nice to be wanted, even by freaks. :-) That's why IIII like you!
You need to make this toll booth thing into a screenplay. Please write it before he kidnaps you, locks you in his basement and spanks you until you call him tollhouse cookie. Maybe Lifetime® Network would do it. The question, my dear, is who would play you?
I'm thinking either Jennifer Aniston or maybe Bea Arthur. I'm so complex, you know?
Tollhouse cookie? I think Britney Spears should play you (that Mississippi thing) and the freaky tollboth guy? -- Tom Cruise of course.
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