What Happens in Key West.....

It’s funny how you go a little crazy when you are on vacation. Kind of like the “What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas” slogan.

It is truly amazing. You will go completely crazy doing things you would never do as long as you just happen to be inhabiting a different locale.

This is one of those stories.

PreppyGirl and I loved Key West. There was no place we would rather be. So, one Memorial Day weekend, we packed up the cooler, got in the car and took the four hour drive to fun in the sun.

Now if you have ever been to Key West you already know that to get there by car you have to drive for several hours on a two lane highway. It’s literally just a strip of road with water on both sides. There is NOWHERE to stop and pee. (Please note the aforementioned cooler, which just happened to be filled with beer.)

The first sign that I was going crazy was that I peed into a cup and then dumped it out the window….repeatedly. I’m not proud of it, but in honor of telling the story correctly I will give full disclosure.

Upon arrival to our destination we were already well liquored up and both had difficulty walking. Within the first hour I had scraped my knee tripping over a tree root on the sidewalk. PreppyGirl ended up with a huge bruise on her ass from slipping down the stairs at our hotel. Although, on her behalf, she probably wasn’t as drunk as me and it had been raining.

I won’t continue to bore you with a play by play of the rest of the night. There are too many embarrassing moments to tell. I will just take you to the end. (To hell with full disclosure….I’m not sure what the statute of limitations is for some of my “offenses”.)

PreppyGirl and I were finishing our drunken crawl down Duval Street when we saw a sign painted on a building. It said “Upstairz” and had a crooked red arrow pointing up a flight of stairs attached to the side of the building.

“Want to check it out?” I slurred.

“Sure, I’m up for anything.” PreppyGirl responded.

We stumble up the stairs to find ourselves at the door of a bar. Well, a club really. Well, not so much a club as a “show bar”. Well, not so much that as a gentleman’s club. Well, not so much gentleman’s as a sleazy, full-nude, titty bar.

“Hmmm….want to go in?” I ask.

“Why not? We’re already here and I don’t know if I can make it down the stairs without falling.” PreppyGirl responds.

In we walk. Two girls. Living the wild life. Far away from people we know. Not a care in the world.

“So what do you think?” PreppyGirl asks after a while.

“It’s ok, but creepy, horny guys keep hitting on me. Let’s pretend we’re together so they’ll leave us alone.” I reply.

“Ok.”

PreppyGirl proceeds to take my hand as I lead her through the room. We stand several feet from the stage, watching the show. I put my arm around her to show that we are together to ward off any interested suitors. I am feeling sure of myself. Confident. Free. I turn when I hear……

“Sherri. PreppyGirl. What are you two doing here?”

Turning, we see two guys we know from home. Busted.

So, your thinking we should have been embarrassed, right? Ashamed by what we were doing?

Well, all I have to say is:

If you are in Key West visit Upstairz. While you’re there ask for Dallas. She puts on a hell of a show!