Admins are not Omniscient

Contrary to popular belief, just because you are someone's assistant and handle their calendar you don't always know where they are.

I work for a high level executive in a Fortune 500 company. I also provide part-time support for one other executive. I assist in scheduling meetings (although sometimes they will do this themselves) and arranging their calendars when there are conflicts. For some reason, everyone that works here thinks that I know where these two individuals are at every moment of every day.

There are two main culprits in this story. The first is Kay. Kay is usually overwhelmed and stressed. I don't think she gets much done. The next is Jay. Jay is just annoying.

This is approximately how the last 30 minutes of my day was spent:

Kay: (rushing into my cube, looking around wild-eyed, pointing to boss #2's office) Where is he?

Me: Let me check his calendar.

Kay: You don't know where he is?

Me: I need to check his calendar.

Kay: But he's not in his office.

Me: I know. I need to check his calendar to see where he is.

Kay: (pacing around my cube) But I really need him!

Me: (checking boss #2's calendar) He's in a meeting for the next hour then he has some free time.

(Okay, so Kay just stares at me. She's frozen in space. I can see white all the way around her irises. I'm uncomfortable. I start counting in my head. 1...2...3...4...5...How long is she going to stare?...6...7...8..9..10...okay I have to break the silence).

Me: You look scared.

Kay : (takes a deep breath) I just really need him and I thought you could help me.

Me: I told you where he is.

Kay: Fine. Whatever (walks away).

So, if that wasn't bad enough, two minutes later in walks Jay.

Jay: (pointing to boss #2's office) Do you know where he is?

Me: (this time I do!) Yes, he's in a meeting until 3.

Jay: (staring at me...then slowly begins talking like I'm stupid) Well, that's not convenient for us now is it?

Me: Umm...no...I guess not.

Jay: Do you know when he's free?

Me: Umm...yeah...at 3.

Jay: He should really be more available don't you think?

(I think you should schedule a meeting jackass, and not talk to me like I'm 4 years old!)

Me: Yeah. He really should.

(Jay walks away).

Okay, back to work. Nope. Not gonna happen. I walks "P" who I actually really like, but we're all allowed one dumb question every now and then.

P: (pointing to Boss #1's office) Is he available?

Me: (looking at the phone) No, he's on the phone.

P: Well, who's he talking to?

Me: I don't know.

P: Why don't you know? Don't you answer his phone?

Me: I do, but sometimes he actually picks it up and dials.

P: Oh.

Remember, just because we control their calendars, we cannot tell you where they are at all times. The next person that asks me where either one of them are...I swear I'm gonna tell them he's takin' a crap!