Weight Loss Can Induce a Psychotic Break
Those of you who read Milky Way Orgasm were introduced to my first experience at Weight Watchers. I am happy to report that I don't need to lose 100's of pounds like some. I am just pleasantly plump, which I attribute to the fact that I gave birth (probably the most commonly used excuse of overweight mothers).
Today is my meeting day and I am anxiously awaiting the weigh in. I know as of yesterday morning I was down 5 pounds for the week. (They keep telling me I should only lose 2 pounds a week, but who really wants to do that?)
I awake, still groggy and stumble to the scale in my pajamas. I know I have to be down another half pound, I was sooo strict yesterday. I step on the scale, steady my balance and wait for the number to appear. And....it's....WHAT????
Two and a half pounds up from yesterday! What the f...?
How is that even possible? I ate a salad and some cottage cheese yesterday. Why is this happening? Why didn't I weigh in yesterday? Fuck.
I strip off my pajamas and weigh in the buff. Should be good for a half a pound. Nothing. Still up. Crap.
Okay. I don't have to be there for two hours. What can I do? I must be retaining water. Hmmmm.....
OOOhhhh! I need to poop. Okay that's at least a half a pound. Okay, back on the scale. Nothing. Crap. Literally.
I'm bloated. I'll drink a bunch of water. That's what you do when you're retaining water, right? Flush your system.
So I drink 4 ginormous glasses of water. Oh gosh. Now I'm nauseus. Hmmm...wonder what I weigh now? Up another half...3 pounds in all now. Crap.
An hour has gone by and I've peed 6 times. Alright back on the scale. Ah...down a pound. Now only up two. Awesome. Progress.
Now I know by now some of you are thinking I am completely insane. And that might actually be the case, although it may have nothing to do with this incident. But, I can guarantee that there is some woman out there reading this right now laughing because she's done the exact same thing.
Where was I? Oh yeah, I drink two more glasses of water, pee three more times, weigh and am successfully down another pound. Awesome! More progress.
After my shower I obsessively weigh one more time. What???? Up a pound. Are the hair follicles on my body holding on to the water from the shower? Is this pound just going to evaporate away?
Finally, I give up and get dressed and weigh one more time before leaving. Only up one since yesterday, which is actually a loss of 4 pounds for the week, which is actually really good.
But like I said....weight loss can induce a psychotic break....and apparently I have had one.
Today is my meeting day and I am anxiously awaiting the weigh in. I know as of yesterday morning I was down 5 pounds for the week. (They keep telling me I should only lose 2 pounds a week, but who really wants to do that?)
I awake, still groggy and stumble to the scale in my pajamas. I know I have to be down another half pound, I was sooo strict yesterday. I step on the scale, steady my balance and wait for the number to appear. And....it's....WHAT????
Two and a half pounds up from yesterday! What the f...?
How is that even possible? I ate a salad and some cottage cheese yesterday. Why is this happening? Why didn't I weigh in yesterday? Fuck.
I strip off my pajamas and weigh in the buff. Should be good for a half a pound. Nothing. Still up. Crap.
Okay. I don't have to be there for two hours. What can I do? I must be retaining water. Hmmmm.....
OOOhhhh! I need to poop. Okay that's at least a half a pound. Okay, back on the scale. Nothing. Crap. Literally.
I'm bloated. I'll drink a bunch of water. That's what you do when you're retaining water, right? Flush your system.
So I drink 4 ginormous glasses of water. Oh gosh. Now I'm nauseus. Hmmm...wonder what I weigh now? Up another half...3 pounds in all now. Crap.
An hour has gone by and I've peed 6 times. Alright back on the scale. Ah...down a pound. Now only up two. Awesome. Progress.
Now I know by now some of you are thinking I am completely insane. And that might actually be the case, although it may have nothing to do with this incident. But, I can guarantee that there is some woman out there reading this right now laughing because she's done the exact same thing.
Where was I? Oh yeah, I drink two more glasses of water, pee three more times, weigh and am successfully down another pound. Awesome! More progress.
After my shower I obsessively weigh one more time. What???? Up a pound. Are the hair follicles on my body holding on to the water from the shower? Is this pound just going to evaporate away?
Finally, I give up and get dressed and weigh one more time before leaving. Only up one since yesterday, which is actually a loss of 4 pounds for the week, which is actually really good.
But like I said....weight loss can induce a psychotic break....and apparently I have had one.
posted by Sherri at 5:59 PM
4 Comments:
Weight is a fickle thing. I'd like to think that it visits whenever it deems it most inappropriate.
But thanks for a much needed laugh. The image of a woman running around the house, drinking, peeing, weighing and repeating is one that disturbingly appeals to the sick funny bone.
Sherri, I've been there.
At 6'2", I weighed 215 pounds...conventional wisdom and the Navy agree (this doesn't happen often, so the Navy seems to cherish those moments) that 204 is the most a 6'2" adult man should weigh to be healthy. So, the Navy gets out the tape measure and based on my waist and my neck and a Magical Chart, determines that I am 22% body fat, and therefore "borderline obese". Now, I was eating 2,000 calories a day and working out 10 hours a week...solid, traditional martial arts workouts that involved me sweating through my gi every day. I had lost 35 pounds in eight weeks. A professional football player participated in one of the easy classes...and couldn't keep up. It was safe to say that I was in excellent shape.
And here's where I had my psychotic break: When the captain told me how concerned he was that I was "within standards but close", and had "the appearance of being fat", I challenged him to join me at the dojon, just once.
He declined.
Apparently, he thought I was offering to kick his ass.
And in a way, I guess I was.
~Kurt
okay sherri
here is a weight loss trick. the night before the weigh in, drink a few glasses of warm or hot lemon (fresh lemons) water. It is a diuretic and really helps with water retention. Do you do this: I weigh in on Friday and then immediately go to McDonalds or some other fast food place for a cheeseburger and french fries. It's a crazy cycle. My initial weigh ins were 2 to 4 lbs and now my weight loss each week is measured in ounces (ha, I'm still happy ~ if I lose a half pound each week eventually I'll hit my goal right?).
Good Luck. ~ shannon
Water and lemon, huh? I'll report back to you next Saturday!
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