Is That a Baby Joey in Your Pocket....or Are You Just Happy to See Me?
Isn't it funny how sometimes you think you look great, but in reality it's just not so. I guess it may have something to do with the fact that I get dressed at 5:30 in the morning.
If you have been following my blog you know that I am on the road to fitness. Yes, the journey to weight loss has begun. No, for those of you who don't know me, I am not a giant tub of lard. I feel the need to express that because, well, I have a fragile ego. (Not really, but I don't want to sound like the stuck up bitch that I am.) Also, someone told me that women who constantly talk about their weight online are usually fat. Hmmm......
Anywhoo...trying to get rid of the baby bulge has become an interesting adventure to say the least. Since I have lost about 12 pounds I pulled out a pair of pants and shirt that I haven't worn in quite a while. I put it on, looked in the mirror, felt pretty good about myself, and out the door I went.
Now let me preface the rest of this story by saying that apparently the mirror in my closet (that was there when we bought the house 2 months ago) is sadly..........defective. Women know the kind. These mirrors are also found in every department store with overpriced clothes. Oh, you look so good in the dressing room, but wait until you get home!
At the risk of TMI, I also need to share a little about where the 12 pounds I lost came from. In reminiscence of Cosmic Joke, I want to ask the powers that be......Why must the first 5 pounds I lose come from my boobs? I mean really? Can't a girl have one thing going for her?
(I have...had...great boobs, by the way. See the pic to the right....while it is a body double, you still get the idea!)
I know that the first 5 pounds came from my boobs because during the ride to work, the bra I put on this morning, that fit two weeks ago, became a puckered mess. When I looked in the mirror at work I actually looked like I had on a bra two sizes too big that was stuffed with apples. (Who remembers the Little House on the Prarie episode where Laura stuffed her bra with apples? Come on....out yourself....I can't be the only loser.)
And what is up with the joey pouch? I have lost in my hips, thighs and butt.....but I still have my little joey pouch. I thought that maybe I could use it to make a little money. I could rent it out to the zoo and carry around rejected joeys until they are old enough to fend for themselves. Kind of like the woman who nursed tiger cubs, but not as gross. (True story, by the way.)
So now I get to spend the whole day like this thanks to my defective mirror. Poofy bra and Joey pouch. That's Me. Happy Monday!
Oh well, at least I have great hair and perfect teeth! (And apparently, a solid ego.)
If you have been following my blog you know that I am on the road to fitness. Yes, the journey to weight loss has begun. No, for those of you who don't know me, I am not a giant tub of lard. I feel the need to express that because, well, I have a fragile ego. (Not really, but I don't want to sound like the stuck up bitch that I am.) Also, someone told me that women who constantly talk about their weight online are usually fat. Hmmm......
Anywhoo...trying to get rid of the baby bulge has become an interesting adventure to say the least. Since I have lost about 12 pounds I pulled out a pair of pants and shirt that I haven't worn in quite a while. I put it on, looked in the mirror, felt pretty good about myself, and out the door I went.
Now let me preface the rest of this story by saying that apparently the mirror in my closet (that was there when we bought the house 2 months ago) is sadly..........defective. Women know the kind. These mirrors are also found in every department store with overpriced clothes. Oh, you look so good in the dressing room, but wait until you get home!
At the risk of TMI, I also need to share a little about where the 12 pounds I lost came from. In reminiscence of Cosmic Joke, I want to ask the powers that be......Why must the first 5 pounds I lose come from my boobs? I mean really? Can't a girl have one thing going for her?
(I have...had...great boobs, by the way. See the pic to the right....while it is a body double, you still get the idea!)
I know that the first 5 pounds came from my boobs because during the ride to work, the bra I put on this morning, that fit two weeks ago, became a puckered mess. When I looked in the mirror at work I actually looked like I had on a bra two sizes too big that was stuffed with apples. (Who remembers the Little House on the Prarie episode where Laura stuffed her bra with apples? Come on....out yourself....I can't be the only loser.)
And what is up with the joey pouch? I have lost in my hips, thighs and butt.....but I still have my little joey pouch. I thought that maybe I could use it to make a little money. I could rent it out to the zoo and carry around rejected joeys until they are old enough to fend for themselves. Kind of like the woman who nursed tiger cubs, but not as gross. (True story, by the way.)
So now I get to spend the whole day like this thanks to my defective mirror. Poofy bra and Joey pouch. That's Me. Happy Monday!
Oh well, at least I have great hair and perfect teeth! (And apparently, a solid ego.)
posted by Sherri at 7:15 AM
3 Comments:
Uggh. I hear you. I wonder if that pooch (pouch) will ever go away. Long gone are the days of two piece bathing suits. I thought I'd humor myself and try on an old bathing suit on Saturday... HA! I'll have to agree with Shannon. Trying on old clothes is a great motivator for me. I miss my old clothes. I want to wear the nice stuff I bought (when I could afford to.. i.e. before kids) Keep the faith! YOU CAN DDDOOO EEEET!
Unfortunately I can't sympathise. Well, i think I should stop there before I get a mad woman chasing my "impossible to get fat" body down the street with a sharp knife in hand...
Andy: That's ok. I actually hate fat men. (Such a double standard, huh?)
Post a Comment
<< Home