Lunch Story
I really don’t like to criticize people…….
Oh who am I kidding? I live for it.
Anyway, I had some interesting experiences during my lunch break yesterday. So let the criticism begin!
I went to the mall to have the contacts in my boss’ old phone transferred to his new phone. Once I was done with that I figured it was time for lunch. I made my way down to the food court, ordered a salad and walked over to the cash register. While I’m waiting for the cashier to notice me I look back at the person in line behind me. It’s an older gentleman, probably around 60. He’s fairly nice looking for his age with snow white hair.
But….
His one distinguishing feature is the giant inch long hairs poking out of his nose. There was so much hair that you could have knitted a baby cap out of it. It was absolutely disgusting.
Now, I can understand the extra abundance of nose hair in say, a homeless person, or maybe someone in an impoverished country who doesn’t have money to invest in personal hygiene. But this guy was a business man. Expensive suit, quality overcoat, nice shoes.
It was nasty.
So I turn to the cashier who looks at me, glances at the man and looks back at me with wide eyes. I just give her the “I know, I know” look but remain silent so not to offend.
The cashier rings me up. “That’s $7.41.”
I hand her a ten dollar bill. She rings in the ten dollars. Her cash register shows that my change is $2.59. I give her a penny so I won’t get so much change. As soon as the penny hits her hand she freezes. She looks up at me and once again her eyes get wide. She doesn’t know what to do.
Finally, after much deliberation she hands me two dollar bills and two quarters.
“You owe me a dime,” I say to her.
“What?”
“You owe me a dime.”
“Ummm…..but you gave me a penny.”
“I know. And you owe me a dime.”
“Umm….okay.”
She hands me the dime.
Finally, I get back to my car. I want to get back to the office to eat my salad because by now I am starving. As I pull up to the light out of the mall parking lot I notice that car in front of me has a vanity plate…..”Elaine-9”. I am assuming the vanity plate means that her name is Elaine and she was born in 1909. That is the only explanation.
When Elaine-9 pulled out of the mall she drove straight down the middle of the two lanes of traffic. I don’t know if she possibly thought that the line was a guide for the middle of her car, but apparently that was what she was doing. As she started to make the left turn out of the parking lot, she stopped. She just stopped in the middle of traffic. With me behind her. In the middle of traffic. Finally, Elaine-9 summoned up the energy to pull the steering wheel far enough to the left to maneuver her car into the appropriate lane allowing me to finally get out of harms way.
As I passed Elaine-9 I got a look at her. She certainly looked like she could have been born in 1909. She was wrinkly and extremely small as if every year she had lived had taken an inch off of her.
I feel for the elderly who have to deal with the fact that they are losing their capabilities along with their freedom, but if you getting to go to the mall on your own means me getting killed in a car accident, well too bad, stay home.
So that was lunch yesterday. How was yours?
Oh who am I kidding? I live for it.
Anyway, I had some interesting experiences during my lunch break yesterday. So let the criticism begin!
I went to the mall to have the contacts in my boss’ old phone transferred to his new phone. Once I was done with that I figured it was time for lunch. I made my way down to the food court, ordered a salad and walked over to the cash register. While I’m waiting for the cashier to notice me I look back at the person in line behind me. It’s an older gentleman, probably around 60. He’s fairly nice looking for his age with snow white hair.
But….
His one distinguishing feature is the giant inch long hairs poking out of his nose. There was so much hair that you could have knitted a baby cap out of it. It was absolutely disgusting.
Now, I can understand the extra abundance of nose hair in say, a homeless person, or maybe someone in an impoverished country who doesn’t have money to invest in personal hygiene. But this guy was a business man. Expensive suit, quality overcoat, nice shoes.
It was nasty.
So I turn to the cashier who looks at me, glances at the man and looks back at me with wide eyes. I just give her the “I know, I know” look but remain silent so not to offend.
The cashier rings me up. “That’s $7.41.”
I hand her a ten dollar bill. She rings in the ten dollars. Her cash register shows that my change is $2.59. I give her a penny so I won’t get so much change. As soon as the penny hits her hand she freezes. She looks up at me and once again her eyes get wide. She doesn’t know what to do.
Finally, after much deliberation she hands me two dollar bills and two quarters.
“You owe me a dime,” I say to her.
“What?”
“You owe me a dime.”
“Ummm…..but you gave me a penny.”
“I know. And you owe me a dime.”
“Umm….okay.”
She hands me the dime.
Finally, I get back to my car. I want to get back to the office to eat my salad because by now I am starving. As I pull up to the light out of the mall parking lot I notice that car in front of me has a vanity plate…..”Elaine-9”. I am assuming the vanity plate means that her name is Elaine and she was born in 1909. That is the only explanation.
When Elaine-9 pulled out of the mall she drove straight down the middle of the two lanes of traffic. I don’t know if she possibly thought that the line was a guide for the middle of her car, but apparently that was what she was doing. As she started to make the left turn out of the parking lot, she stopped. She just stopped in the middle of traffic. With me behind her. In the middle of traffic. Finally, Elaine-9 summoned up the energy to pull the steering wheel far enough to the left to maneuver her car into the appropriate lane allowing me to finally get out of harms way.
As I passed Elaine-9 I got a look at her. She certainly looked like she could have been born in 1909. She was wrinkly and extremely small as if every year she had lived had taken an inch off of her.
I feel for the elderly who have to deal with the fact that they are losing their capabilities along with their freedom, but if you getting to go to the mall on your own means me getting killed in a car accident, well too bad, stay home.
So that was lunch yesterday. How was yours?
posted by Sherri at 9:29 AM
6 Comments:
Still laughing at the man having enough nose hair to knit a baby cap. What a special heirloom to be treasured, too...
And me and my co-workers were just talking the other day about how cashiers just FREEZE like a deer in the headlights when you hand them that penny or other combination of change. (sigh) These kids today...
Oh man, my boss has that weird hair thing too, but with him it's EAR hair. He's a nice, well groomed (save the ear hair) guy too so it is hard to imagine that he can't see it or thinks others won't notice. My mom recently met him and had a hard time talking to him because she was so preoccupied with the ear hair. Eww.
Way back "in the day" when I worked as a cashier, you had to count the money back to each customer so they understood you were giving them the proper change. To echo Erica... kids these days!
It's kind of fun to watch people freak when you hand them the change simplifying penny. They act as though you're trying to rip them off when you say they owe you a dime. Just tell them to punch it in on the cash register and then they can trust the answer...
Today's kids? It's that damned rock and roll!
Hey... I listen to rock and or roll... and I can count! I probably still count as those kid's today too (at least I like to think so).
I'm a fan of quality nose hair clippers - it's just something any guy should have, even us 20-somethings.
So is this a jab at my newly acquired white hair? What are you trying to say, Sherri? Geez.
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