How To Not Pick Up A Girl
My friend RaceGirl lives in Charlotte, NC. She moved there to get a job in Nascar, which she has done. So I’m pretty proud of her. Not to mention that I am looking forward to the perks and free races, but anyway…..
RaceGirl was walking her dog the other day. She lives in a decent neighborhood. You don’t really have to worry about walking by yourself. As she passed a gas station a Hispanic-looking man smiled at her. RaceGirl smiled back (she is usually nice to everyone – unlike me).
I guess the guy took this as an invitation:
(Imagine a man speaking in a very thick Spanish accent – maybe Inigo Montoya in Princess Bride or Puss n’ Boots from Shrek 2.)
Guy at gas station: Hi. Good Evening.
RaceGirl: Hi. Have a nice day (continuing to walk by).
Guy at gas station: Wait! I want to caress your dog!
RaceGirl: What? (continuing to walk)
Guy at gas station: Come back. I want to caress your dog!
RaceGirl: Um. He’s doesn’t like people.
Guy at gas station: Please…come back and let me caress your dog!
Okay…..here’s a bit of advice to all you English as a second language speaking males out there. If you want to pick up a girl avoid the word “caress”. It puts up an immediate red flag and any interest we may have been entertaining is immediately killed.
So RaceGirl and I decided the story would have been a lot funnier if she had been walking a cat. But who really walks a cat? Oh well.
RaceGirl was walking her dog the other day. She lives in a decent neighborhood. You don’t really have to worry about walking by yourself. As she passed a gas station a Hispanic-looking man smiled at her. RaceGirl smiled back (she is usually nice to everyone – unlike me).
I guess the guy took this as an invitation:
(Imagine a man speaking in a very thick Spanish accent – maybe Inigo Montoya in Princess Bride or Puss n’ Boots from Shrek 2.)
Guy at gas station: Hi. Good Evening.
RaceGirl: Hi. Have a nice day (continuing to walk by).
Guy at gas station: Wait! I want to caress your dog!
RaceGirl: What? (continuing to walk)
Guy at gas station: Come back. I want to caress your dog!
RaceGirl: Um. He’s doesn’t like people.
Guy at gas station: Please…come back and let me caress your dog!
Okay…..here’s a bit of advice to all you English as a second language speaking males out there. If you want to pick up a girl avoid the word “caress”. It puts up an immediate red flag and any interest we may have been entertaining is immediately killed.
So RaceGirl and I decided the story would have been a lot funnier if she had been walking a cat. But who really walks a cat? Oh well.
posted by Sherri at 9:16 AM
3 Comments:
Too funny! Reminds me of the Monty Python sketch about the dirty Hungarian Phrasebook:
"My hovercraft is full of eels."
"If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me? I am no longer infected."
English is such a wonderful language.
~Kurt
I've walked my cat!
That's awesome! More people should walk cats.....
BTW, went to your blog....very...interesting! Maybe I need a new hobby :)
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