What You Don't Learn In Parenting Class
I’m writing this one for those of you who aren’t mothers yet….or maybe you are a new mother. There is a technique that they don’t teach you in parenting class. It is extremely valuable and can save you many sleepless nights. I like to call it…..
The Ninja Stealth Diaper Change.
That’s right….NSDC for short is a technique that has been passed down in my family for generations. While I am pretty sure my ethnic background is Irish, with nary a ninja among them, the title still fits. You need to be quick, smooth and have the courage of a great warrior. Who else would have the nerve to move a sleeping baby?
Curious about this great technique? Let me review last night’s episode.
I go into the boys’ room to do the last late night check and round of kisses before retiring myself. I kiss Charlie, arrange him back properly in his bed (he is always getting turned upside down), and cover him up. I go over to the crib to kiss Matthew’s forehead. Sniff? What the…? Oh No! It can’t be! It is…..POOP!
That’s right. The house is quiet. I am ready to sleep. The baby is sleeping peacefully and his diaper is full of poop. Every mother knows you just can’t leave it. If you do you will be up all the next night with the baby crying over a diaper rash. There is only one thing you can do…..
Ninja Stealth Diaper Change!
I will outline the basic technique:
1. Always keep a sleeping baby horizontal. One of the biggest mistakes amateurs can make is to shift a sleeping child to a vertical position. Slide your hands under him smoothly, in one quick motion, moving him as little as possible.
2. If your child uses a binky (pacifier, whatever) make sure it is either in his mouth or handy.
3. You should already have a diaper and wipes ready where you plan to change the child. If you do not have a wipe warmer do not…I repeat DO NOT USE COLD WIPES. This is where most individuals using the ninja stealth technique go off course. If you have no other option, run paper towels under warm water in place of wipes. I cannot stress this enough.
4. Make sure the room is dimly lit where you are changing the sleeping baby. You may need a flashlight to ensure you have thoroughly cleaned your sleeping bundle. If you do not have help, just hold it in your teeth. Of course, this may be difficult if you have the 1970 jumbo flashlight.
5. Unhook all fastenings very slowly to avoid jostling the baby. Do a second review to ensure this step is complete. Nothing can wake a baby faster (other than cold wipes) than that one snap hanging on and pulling a little leg in the wrong direction.
6. Okay…..the diaper. Place the new diaper under the old. Unhook the old quickly. Wipe fast and firmly. Don’t dawdle here. You will need all your courage mustered up. YOU CAN DO THIS! Do a quick poop review with the flashlight and fasten new diaper. (Remember new moms….if the house is warm don’t worry about putting the pajama pants back on. This is a move for those more advanced in this technique. Trying it too soon may result in disaster).
7. Finally, as in step 1, keep baby horizontal and gently lay back in bed.
You may now do a silent victory dance. You have successfully completed the ninja stealth diaper change. You can now sleep peacefully….well until your baby wakes you up at 3am teething like mine did this morning…..but, that grasshopper, is a lesson for another day.
The Ninja Stealth Diaper Change.
That’s right….NSDC for short is a technique that has been passed down in my family for generations. While I am pretty sure my ethnic background is Irish, with nary a ninja among them, the title still fits. You need to be quick, smooth and have the courage of a great warrior. Who else would have the nerve to move a sleeping baby?
Curious about this great technique? Let me review last night’s episode.
I go into the boys’ room to do the last late night check and round of kisses before retiring myself. I kiss Charlie, arrange him back properly in his bed (he is always getting turned upside down), and cover him up. I go over to the crib to kiss Matthew’s forehead. Sniff? What the…? Oh No! It can’t be! It is…..POOP!
That’s right. The house is quiet. I am ready to sleep. The baby is sleeping peacefully and his diaper is full of poop. Every mother knows you just can’t leave it. If you do you will be up all the next night with the baby crying over a diaper rash. There is only one thing you can do…..
Ninja Stealth Diaper Change!
I will outline the basic technique:
1. Always keep a sleeping baby horizontal. One of the biggest mistakes amateurs can make is to shift a sleeping child to a vertical position. Slide your hands under him smoothly, in one quick motion, moving him as little as possible.
2. If your child uses a binky (pacifier, whatever) make sure it is either in his mouth or handy.
3. You should already have a diaper and wipes ready where you plan to change the child. If you do not have a wipe warmer do not…I repeat DO NOT USE COLD WIPES. This is where most individuals using the ninja stealth technique go off course. If you have no other option, run paper towels under warm water in place of wipes. I cannot stress this enough.
4. Make sure the room is dimly lit where you are changing the sleeping baby. You may need a flashlight to ensure you have thoroughly cleaned your sleeping bundle. If you do not have help, just hold it in your teeth. Of course, this may be difficult if you have the 1970 jumbo flashlight.
5. Unhook all fastenings very slowly to avoid jostling the baby. Do a second review to ensure this step is complete. Nothing can wake a baby faster (other than cold wipes) than that one snap hanging on and pulling a little leg in the wrong direction.
6. Okay…..the diaper. Place the new diaper under the old. Unhook the old quickly. Wipe fast and firmly. Don’t dawdle here. You will need all your courage mustered up. YOU CAN DO THIS! Do a quick poop review with the flashlight and fasten new diaper. (Remember new moms….if the house is warm don’t worry about putting the pajama pants back on. This is a move for those more advanced in this technique. Trying it too soon may result in disaster).
7. Finally, as in step 1, keep baby horizontal and gently lay back in bed.
You may now do a silent victory dance. You have successfully completed the ninja stealth diaper change. You can now sleep peacefully….well until your baby wakes you up at 3am teething like mine did this morning…..but, that grasshopper, is a lesson for another day.
posted by Sherri at 1:53 PM
2 Comments:
I loved this tutorial! I am a Master of this technique, although my daughter (10 mos.) is turning out to be a lighter sleeper than my son (now 7) was. I find that scrunching the wipe up in my hand takes off that chilly edge.
My baby is also teething now and we're all just in hell. I'll think of you when we're up at 3am, and know that you're probably up too!
:-)
oh yes....I too am usually up at 3am. Actually, I am delirious as I write this. What day is it???
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