Disorder
I have diagnosed myself with a serious disorder. I can’t go to a doctor for it because it isn’t widely recognized in the medical field. I am sad to report that I have:
Bipolar Cleaning Disorder.
I know, I know. You are shocked and appalled. It true, folks. I have this terrible disorder. I’ll explain how it manifests itself.
First, you hate to clean. I mean you really HATE to clean. Example:
You must vacuum your house. You sit on the couch and look at the closet where the evil device, the vacuum, lurks. Here are your thoughts:
I don’t want to vacuum. I hate to vacuum. This sucks. To vacuum I have to get up, go to the closet, open the door, pull the vacuum out, unwrap the cord, plug it in, push the stupid vacuum all over the house, unplug it, wind up the cord and put it back in the closet. I can’t do it. I just can’t. It’s too much. I hate the vacuum. It was invented to taunt and torment me. Why can’t I just get a maid?
All this time you could have been vacuuming and it would have been done. But you can’t. You are motionless, frozen by the downswing in your Bipolar Cleaning Disorder. And this doesn’t just manifest itself with vacuuming. It can happen with dusting, laundry, and the most feared of all…..bathrooms.
Then, when you just can’t take it anymore something comes over you. All of a sudden you are frantic. You MUST clean. You start in the kitchen. You can’t wipe the counters fast enough. You vacuum, in a frenzy. Rags are flying, cleaner spraying on every surface. Nothing is safe. Family dog, get out of the way or you will soon be in the bathtub. You have catapulted from the depths of cleaning procrastination to the height of a manic cleaning episode.
While this may sound good, it’s not. You may be thinking, but you are getting your cleaning done, what’s the problem? The problem is, along with this manic cleaning phase, you develop cleaning ADD. You can’t finish any one project. You flit around the house, dishwasher open and half empty, toilet brush sitting in a half scrubbed toilet, while you dust the TV all you can think is - I need to put the laundry in the dryer.
Please, please….if you recognize yourself, get help. I am working with a therapist to get on a productive cleaning schedule. Remember folks, one day at a time. Together we can have clean houses while maintaining a happy, balanced life. I know it can be done.
Bipolar Cleaning Disorder.
I know, I know. You are shocked and appalled. It true, folks. I have this terrible disorder. I’ll explain how it manifests itself.
First, you hate to clean. I mean you really HATE to clean. Example:
You must vacuum your house. You sit on the couch and look at the closet where the evil device, the vacuum, lurks. Here are your thoughts:
I don’t want to vacuum. I hate to vacuum. This sucks. To vacuum I have to get up, go to the closet, open the door, pull the vacuum out, unwrap the cord, plug it in, push the stupid vacuum all over the house, unplug it, wind up the cord and put it back in the closet. I can’t do it. I just can’t. It’s too much. I hate the vacuum. It was invented to taunt and torment me. Why can’t I just get a maid?
All this time you could have been vacuuming and it would have been done. But you can’t. You are motionless, frozen by the downswing in your Bipolar Cleaning Disorder. And this doesn’t just manifest itself with vacuuming. It can happen with dusting, laundry, and the most feared of all…..bathrooms.
Then, when you just can’t take it anymore something comes over you. All of a sudden you are frantic. You MUST clean. You start in the kitchen. You can’t wipe the counters fast enough. You vacuum, in a frenzy. Rags are flying, cleaner spraying on every surface. Nothing is safe. Family dog, get out of the way or you will soon be in the bathtub. You have catapulted from the depths of cleaning procrastination to the height of a manic cleaning episode.
While this may sound good, it’s not. You may be thinking, but you are getting your cleaning done, what’s the problem? The problem is, along with this manic cleaning phase, you develop cleaning ADD. You can’t finish any one project. You flit around the house, dishwasher open and half empty, toilet brush sitting in a half scrubbed toilet, while you dust the TV all you can think is - I need to put the laundry in the dryer.
Please, please….if you recognize yourself, get help. I am working with a therapist to get on a productive cleaning schedule. Remember folks, one day at a time. Together we can have clean houses while maintaining a happy, balanced life. I know it can be done.
posted by Sherri at 8:53 AM
7 Comments:
Do you think I could get a maid with bipolar cleaning disorder at half price?
~Kurt
P.S. My verification word was "dfoeun", which when said aloud, sounds like Inspector Clouseau: "D'foeun, M'sieur."
foeun?
"Oui, de TELEfoeun."
I need the name of your therapist. Hurry!
And you know what sends me over the edge? (Well, a lot of things, but. . .) After you have finally gotten thru it all, and the house is clean? In a week, you gotta do it all. Over. Again.
Nah. You don't have to do it all over again a week later. Not if you didn't do it the first week. I go through this. My husband is actually the house cleaner, but there are little piles of my stuff around the house that he knows not to mess with. And I feel guilty every time I see them and I think, "Yeah, I need to move/do/trash/give away/sort/file whatever that is." And then one day, the frenzy strikes and I am a madwoman, more annoying than the chick on Clean Sweep. And I too flit from thing to thing, unable to actually finish more than one project out of say, seven. Sad.
Sherri, help has arrived. You so need this book: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0446677671/qid=1131390024/sr=8-1/ref=pd_bbs_1/002-1827669-5480033?v=glance&s=books&n=507846
At least read the excerpt available online! It sounds EXACTLY like you!
I'm still sitting at the one end of the bipolar, thinking about how much I hate cleaning (also termed laziness). Tell me Dr Sherri, how do I get to the "other side"??
Chickybabe: I wish I could guide you to the "other side", but unfortunately those manic episode hit suddenly and without warning. One can only hope that soon you will be brought into the light and have a productive cleaning frenzy of your own.
Good Luck!
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