Burning Bridges
You should never burn bridges, right? That's what I've always been told. To be honest, I have burned a few in my time. In fact, I have set bombs, used lighter fluid, and laughed maniacally as the flames flew higher and higher. But now, in my mature adult state, I don't do that. Although I sincerely want to.
When boss #1 never had the nerve to say anything about my "dismissal" it really....well, burned me. So I decided to send him an email. I was going to call him, but knowing his great fear of conflict I though a real-time exchange might send him into such a frenzy that he may have to be hospitalized. So here's what I wrote:
Dear Boss #1,
After reviewing the events of the day, I understand why you made the business decision you did regarding my employment. What I don't understand, considering our close working relationship, is why you didn't find it necessary to have some form of personal communication with me regarding this matter.
Regardless, I did enjoy working with you and wish you the best in the future.
Sincerely,
Me
Proud of me aren't you? I took the high road, right? I am a mature and classy person. Well, not so fast. Let me translate what this really means:
Dear Asshole,
After reviewing the events of the day, I now realize that your ex-wife must have gotten your balls in the divorce because you certainly don't have any. Did you really think you wouldn't hear from me again? That I would just go away without letting you know you are a pussy?
Anyway, working with you was okay because I did have a lot of time to surf the internet, but I still wish you a raging STD and I hope it burns when you pee.
Sincerely,
Me
See....not so mature after all!
When boss #1 never had the nerve to say anything about my "dismissal" it really....well, burned me. So I decided to send him an email. I was going to call him, but knowing his great fear of conflict I though a real-time exchange might send him into such a frenzy that he may have to be hospitalized. So here's what I wrote:
Dear Boss #1,
After reviewing the events of the day, I understand why you made the business decision you did regarding my employment. What I don't understand, considering our close working relationship, is why you didn't find it necessary to have some form of personal communication with me regarding this matter.
Regardless, I did enjoy working with you and wish you the best in the future.
Sincerely,
Me
Proud of me aren't you? I took the high road, right? I am a mature and classy person. Well, not so fast. Let me translate what this really means:
Dear Asshole,
After reviewing the events of the day, I now realize that your ex-wife must have gotten your balls in the divorce because you certainly don't have any. Did you really think you wouldn't hear from me again? That I would just go away without letting you know you are a pussy?
Anyway, working with you was okay because I did have a lot of time to surf the internet, but I still wish you a raging STD and I hope it burns when you pee.
Sincerely,
Me
See....not so mature after all!
posted by Sherri at 6:23 AM
10 Comments:
OMG your translation made me crack up in hysterics! I've wanted to say things like that so many times but understand you can't burn a bridge....
Brilliant!! I must remember that for next time...
I wanted somthing like that when I quite my last job, 13 years ago. I've never seen that bastard again so it would have been worth it.
that's hilarious sherri.
Nicely done. I gave a former boss the finger once when she saw me, and boy does it feel good.
o what a riot! it's hard sometimes to take that high road but it's usually better all around. but ther'es nothing wrong with thinking about that other road and it certainly would feel soooooo good to say what you really want, but down the road it usually isn't worth it. i had wanted so bad to do something similar to my previous employer, or at least write a letter about how awful a boss she is and can't understand how's she made it so far without using the technology available (she HATES the computer and still uses a typewriter for all typed documents!!!) but i refrained. i just know that if i ever see her again i'll be sure to let her know that being laid off was the best thing that company ever did for me and smile sweetly LOL
Hey girl... I am laughing out loud. Too funny. Kisses.
oh no, that's too funny. Cool blog - I enjoyed reading it...and I know a minivan is in my near future...
I'm curious to know how he responded. Could you tell there was some embarrassment on his part when he replied, if he did reply?
He hasn't replied. I would have been surprised if he did. I sent it just for some closure on my part. Just wanted to let him know that I wasn't scared to confront him.
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