Why I'm Glad I Don't Date Anymore

Have you ever been really bored and you’re just sitting in front of your computer and you see an ad…..click here to find out true secrets of your personality….or something to that effect.

So you click here and fill out the form, even though you later realize it is a website for a dating service, because you are interested in the true secrets that will be revealed and you have way too much time to kill.

And you fill out the form that ends up taking way longer than the 20 minutes you were told it would take because you really have nothing better to do on a Friday night and you know that you will unsubscribe from the dating service before you are put into the candidate pool.

But you can’t unsubscribe before you get your true secret results so you go ahead and click submit knowing that you will unsubscribe after you read your results.

So you read your results (which were crap, by the way) and click unsubscribe but for some reason you are not unsubscribed and you keep getting emails from men that you are completely uninterested in because you are already taken and so you try to unsubscribe again…..and again….and again.

Until finally you get an email from………

Longandhard24.

Okay. I am not in the dating pool. Haven’t been for some time. But if I were…..

Dear Longandhard24,

I was very flattered to receive your email to see that you are interested in meeting me and pursuing a further relationship. However, I have some concerns about your screenname. Longandhard24, huh?

I really can’t imagine what this is pertaining to. I would get NiceSingleGuy or maybe Looking4Love, but Longandhard24? What exactly are you looking for in a woman? And what can I expect from a relationship with you?

Clearly you must have been attracted to the fact that I have 2 children because I am sure you are an upstanding guy who looks for stability and nurturing in a relationship.

I would assume that longandhard24 means that you are 24 years old and have had a long and hard life? Or maybe you have had 24 previous relationships that lasted a long time and were difficult? Or maybe you had to study long and hard to score 24 on an IQ test?

Whatever the case may be I will have to politely turn you down as I am really not interested, although I am sure you are a stimulating conversationalist.

Sincerely,

You've Got To Be Freakin' Kidding